I caused my Girlfriend and I to be banned from my local Walmart. I was just bored! Here it is in writting.

Dear Ms. xoxoxox,

Over the past six months, your friend has caused quite a lot of commotion in
our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against your boyfriend are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom..

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in
turn resulted in a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department, twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if she could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. September 13: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12.September 15: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. September 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. September 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. September 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
the clerks passed out.

I am so stealing this....

That's how I got it.

That is an old one but a good one. I laugh everytime on that.